The Empath. This topic requires a gentle touch. To be perfectly honest, I am just not gentle. I know everyone has an opinion and I am sure we all think ours is valid. I suppose mine concerning the topic of “empaths” is no different. I am going to try and articulate the helpful points of my opinion because I think now, more than ever, those who consider themselves to be “empaths” are struggling hard. Please remember this is my opinion, my assessment of things based on my experiences. If my thoughts don’t resonate with you, please just disregard them or maybe revisit this at a later date. I promise all of my words are coming from a place of love and personal experience, not simply judgment – as it might come across to some. If you are willing to hear what I have to say, it just might change the way you view the struggle you face.
“I am an empath”
“It’s such a hard gift to be an empath”, “It is a curse no one would want” or the old narcissist vs empath victim posts. I have seen more of these than I can ever count, we all have. Comments, memes, or posts declaring how difficult it is to be an “empath”. We are going to come back to this but first, let’s talk about the sense of empathy. It is a clair-sense– just like clairvoyance. It is considered one of our “extra” senses. Now, just like most people have the ability to touch, taste, smell, hear, and see; most people have some level of the clair-senses. I say most as we know some people may lack in one or more of these areas but make up for it with amplification of other senses. Again, this is my opinion based on my experiences, you are welcome to disagree, hate me, or whatever you like but know I didn’t just pull this thought out of thin air. EVERYONE has the clair-senses, we just don’t all acknowledge them. Clairempathy- this is the one people are referring to when they say they are an empath. Just as the sense of clairvoyance draws its strength from the brow chakra, clairempathy resonates with the heart chakra. If you want to help to manage this clair, one way you can do it is by working with your heart chakra and making sure it is balanced.
Now, I know right off the bat some people will disagree with what I have said so far. “Being an empath isn’t something everyone has; this is a special ‘gift’ I am cursed with”. They will say I don’t understand. Yeah, I hear you, I do, but look at that statement. You believe it is reasonable that spirit has cursed a select group of special people to feel too much? That is your special gift? Are you more special than other people? Take a moment and let that sink in. Get over your response that I am an asshole, and let’s move forward because again, I promise an alternate view on this topic can change your life. I am speaking from personal experience. I am not viewing this from the outside looking in.
I promise I am not just an insensitive jerk.
The next debatable point is “But my ex is a narcissist, and he was absolutely not an empath.” I want to start by reminding you that some people are born deaf or lose their sight, so by that logic, there are some that lack a few of the commonly agreed upon senses. I can only imagine this holds true to a small portion of people when it comes to the clair-senses as well. Like any aspect in life, if there is a rule- someone is breaking it. For one reason or another, there might be people out there that really don’t have clair-empathy on any level. Maybe it is turned off? Maybe they don’t need all of the senses? Maybe they have a lesson that requires they don’t have them so that they focus on another sense? I don’t know, but what I do know is most people will have some level of clair-empathy, especially the so-called narcissist. I say ‘so – called’ because I am not a doctor. I do not have the years of study required to diagnose someone with a medical/psychiatric condition. Most people who label others with this term are also not doctors, they have just been hurt. I understand the reasoning, but pain doesn’t make us experts in the field of diagnosing mental illness or psychiatric conditions. Good common sense dictates this line of thinking. Keep your emotions in check here. It is difficult, but only you can do that for yourself.
I am not saying that people are not shitty sometimes or that they don’t behave poorly. I am especially not saying people don’t harm others who don’t deserve it. This is not what I am saying at all. I am not belittling anyone’s experiences with people who do act that way. Please don’t feel that from my statements. Remember, I love you all, we are one! I promise I am trying to help and if you stick with me here you might get to where I am trying to bring you. Those we self-label “narcissists”, how else could they manipulate us if they didn’t know exactly how we feel? They can feel what you feel and also anticipate how you will feel. That is the essence of clair-empathy. Understanding and knowing how someone is feeling and how to influence the energy around you, is clairempathy. Some are masters at utilizing this sense and don’t even realize it.
The so-called narcissist is a master at using clairempathy
Think of it like using the dark side of the force. They are using the same tools as a healer; they just are not using them for good. The difference between the “empath” and the “narcissist” is they choose to not become the emotion. They don’t take ownership of the pain and baggage that doesn’t belong to them. These so-called “narcissists”, use the information they gather to manipulate. They choose to be selfish but the way they assess the world and the energy around them is by way of clairempathy. This is no different than the healer who uses this sense. What they do with the information is what sets them apart.
The imbalance lies within the “empath”
The problem is not the “curse” of clairempathy but rather your inability to manage it. This is not an insult, it’s just an observation. On the flip side of that narcissist debate is a fact that will be contested, and I know will make some angry; but it doesn’t change the fact that when someone makes those posts, the ones about being an empath and how it is so horrible, they are attempting to draw energy to themselves. They are manipulating others to get attention and energy. Those posts and comments are an attempt at making yourself seem like a victim. The poster wants others to sympathize with their struggle. I know that is hard to hear but honestly ask yourself what is at the heart of that action? When those posts or comments are made, what emotion, what energy is it derived from? What are you sending or trying to get? Very, very rarely would it ever be an attempt to build someone or yourself up, because if you want to give someone hope or strength you would never tell them they are weak, or that they are just a victim. Would you?
The same logic is applied when we speak of ourselves. There is an energy, an intention at the heart of all we do, even if we are not aware of it. If we follow the logic here and we say, “I am an empath” and then we go on to post and declare that being an empath is a curse, and it is so difficult, etc., we are saying we are having a hard time or that we are struggling with something. Do you declare your struggles to spread happiness? No, we declare our struggles because we feel weak, defeated, or require backup in some way. This is normal but at the heart of it, this is an attempt to draw energy to you. Those posts and comments can be seen by some as “narcissistic” behavior. The very thing that some are claiming to be a victim of. Those posts are attempting to influence our environment or the energy that is coming our way. Manipulating energy is at the heart of those statements. Again, I love you and I promise this gets better so please stay with me.
This is not an attack. This is the start of empowerment.
I know right about now many are stuck on the idea that I am just a bitch, and I don’t know what I am talking about. I get it, I am the worst. I know. Let’s revel in that notion for a few minutes. I know as I write this it will not be well received by all or even most. I also know with all I have that my asshole opinion on this topic holds merit and can help at least one person break through their “I am a victim” mentality. I can tell you with all certainty you will never get past that stage until you realize you have put yourself there.
I like to believe that we are all connected. Not just some people, but all people. We are all one. Working with energy on any level proves that over and over. I know how I would respond to this if I didn’t agree, and I am sure someone out there is cursing me right now. Please know I do understand. I have been the “victim empath”. I choose not to be that any longer.
Do not choose to be a victim. You are stronger than that.
Telepathy, I like to think of telepathy as being tied to clair-empathy and the rest of the clairs. Telepathy is the act of communication, and the clair-senses are how communication is executed. When telepathy is out of control, you find yourself in a very bad way. Imagine trying to read a menu in a restaurant but can’t hear your own thoughts because you can hear everyone else around you- all at the same time. A choir of voices all sharing their thoughts in unison. Only, the people you are dining with aren’t hearing what you are. They are starting to look at you funny because you are freaking out. You can hear and feel their judgment which only makes things worse. You know you must get focused and in control, you run the gauntlet of emotions all in a matter of seconds. The room spins and finally, someone shouts “Snap out of it!” You wonder for a moment who you heard as you catch your breath only to see the waitress standing there waiting for your order. The trouble is, you haven’t read a single thing on the menu yet. You desperately search your mind for a breakfast food because reading the menu isn’t going to happen. You can’t read, you can’t think, and you pray someone might just order you some waffles. Waffles! That’s a food, “I will have waffles.” you desperately exclaim. The waitress leaves and things are quiet, you are relieved the moment is over as you hope no one realized how awful the last few minutes were. Then you think “Man, I don’t even like waffles”, but really in the grand scheme of things it could have ended much worse than ordering some food you don’t want to eat.
The above scenario is a real-life experience that was a result of clair-senses that were out of control. I promise when I say I am speaking from experience, I mean I am speaking from some of the most horrific experiences you can imagine. I am telling you that we all have the power to control our clairs. Imagine it was you in the above-mentioned situation. This is where you could sink into victim mode. No one understands what you just went through, right? For as much as that can make you want to go into the fetal position and stay there for eternity, I am also sure there is a “spiritual situation” that is even less pleasant to deal with than that one! When I tell you I know the struggle we are talking about well, I mean I know it well. I am not looking at it from the outside, I am speaking to you from the depths of the struggle.
The point is; you can’t complain about what you have to work with. When you see a person who has no hearing and yet they can play the piano, what do you say about them? Most people are amazed by their strength and determination, right? That person could very well just sit around and complain that they can’t hear but that will never help them. That will never bring them happiness. They will never be the best version of themselves if they stay stuck there. It doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t all understand if they stayed stuck there, but we know things will never get better if they don’t change how they view their situation. There comes a point where they must accept what they have to work with and figure out how to flourish. The same logic applies here!
I could sit around forever crying that no one understands and that my struggle is so great. I could embrace the idea that I am a victim.
I could cry “why me” all day long, and some days I do, but how does that help? Where does that get me? Nowhere! It leaves me stuck in a pattern of feeling sorry for myself, complaining about it, and draining others of their energy. Even though I would never intentionally do that, it is the fact of the matter. When you complain about how awful things are, you are spreading negative energy. Yes, we all have weak moments, and man I tell you when I get low, I get really low. The key is to not stay there. Notice you are doing it and try your hardest to not bring anyone else there with you.
Sure, you may need a friend to talk to but be sure your friend is prepared to share your burden. It is important to point out I am not talking about chronic mental health things here, that is a different story, and you should always try to get help when you need to if you genuinely can’t manage on your own. I am talking about those moments when you feel too much and are ready to complain about being an empath. The day in and day out emotional struggles. So, don’t twist my words for those of you still not ready to listen. I see you and again, I still love you.
When push comes to shove, you have the strength to handle your own energy.
IT IS YOUR ENERGY!
Own that shit! If you call yourself an “empath” learn techniques to help you manage and understand your energy. You must know how to identify what you feel and why, so you know when a feeling isn’t yours. Know when you have vibrations in your energy field that you don’t want there and get rid of them. I know that sounds harsh but there is a ton of negative energy out there right now and if you don’t want to drown in it, you need to pull yourself above it and take control. You are not a victim; you just don’t have control of your clair-empathy. We aren’t talking attachments or anything that might require outside assistance here, we are talking about the normal energy funk we all pick up and encounter. Most of the time we need to just do a better job of managing our energetic field.
Sometimes this is hard to do. Everyone will need help from time to time and that is ok, but your mindset needs to change. If you think you are a victim and at the mercy of “being an empath”, if you in any way view yourself as not in control; then you are not in control and damn it any way YOU need to fix that. You are strong, you are more than capable of managing your energy, and when it is overwhelming, ground and stay away from people until you can regain your strength. When that isn’t possible there are always ways to help manage your energy.
There is ALWAYS a way.
~First and foremost, know your energy! If you don’t have an intimate relationship with how you feel, you won’t know when something else is mucking up your energy.
~Stay grounded. This isn’t a whimsical walk in the park, it is actually being in touch with reality and then focusing on exchanging your funky energy with the Earth.
~Step up your shielding game! Try new methods of shielding and really know it is working, feel it working, and practice more than you have to. Then when you need it, you don’t have to try so hard.
~Crystals are also a big helper here! Black tourmaline is great but not great for people who can’t manage clairempathy. It is not always the one I pick or suggest for this purpose. Sometimes those who haven’t learned to manage this clair can feel the negative energy being transmuted within the tourmaline. So, if this is the case then short 5-minute sessions to release negative energy into the tourmaline is suggested and then carry shungite and satin spar. Those two are universal in the sense that one clears and filters dis-ease and the other overfills an area with high vibrational energy. The other thing about both is they repair your aura which is needed when you can’t manage your energy well. This is not an insult; it is just how it is. A gymnast doesn’t just decide to be a gymnast, wake up and win the Olympics. They must train, and they must learn, they must do the work. Managing any of your clairs is no different.
~The food you eat also can help you stay grounded and keep your vibrations high. These are the basic things of working with energy and if you are struggling that is where you need to go. Back to the basics!
Don’t remain a self-made victim
I know this is a topic that is hard for people to hear but being an “empath” is no different than being a “clairvoyant” you have to manage your clairs. If you fight them, if you make yourself out to be a victim, then you will never master them, and you will remain a self-made victim. You will be stuck in a cycle of minor progress and then defeatist regression for as long as you live. You have the choice, you have the power, you are not a victim! I have faith in you, and should you find yourself in a struggle, you go ahead and message me every time. I will hold a spot for you to lean on because growth is hard, change is even harder, but nothing is impossible!