Thoughts From The Void

A prediction for the year to come.

We live in a weird world. If we pause and take a look around us, there is so much we can’t fully make sense of. The bizarre nature of our existence at the moment can be overwhelming to those who pay attention. It is so easy to become consumed by defeat and see only the negative side of things. The darker side of humanity has been prevailing for a while now. At least, here in the US, I can say that is the truth.

Everyone seems to believe they are fighting for the “right side of history”, and yet, they are all wrong if you take the time to reconcile all of the beliefs on the table. So, is this it? Is this the downfall of our way of life? Will we spiral into oblivion and destroy ourselves? That does seem like a real possibility right now. However, when I look at the potential for 2023, I see another path.

You see, some believe we can engage in divination, and we will see the future. This is only partly accurate from my perspective. I believe we can see all of the possibilities if we try. Divination can show us the most likely path to unfold. The path that will come to fruition if nothing changes. It isn’t just some mystical practice, there is a blending of both logic and spirit. When I look now, I see two paths that are battling; two paths that are fighting for the spot of most likely outcome – and one does seem to be gaining ground. The destruction of all we know is possible, but I don’t think it is the path that wins out this time. This year I see change on the horizon.

Sometimes people like to think of change like a switch. That all of a sudden, things will just be different. This isn’t really how change works most of the time. There are subtle clues of what is to come hidden all around us. Right now, the clues say people are about to make a choice. We can double down on only our beliefs and not try to reconcile the differences between us and those we oppose; or we can take a step back and find the flaws in our own thinking so we, as people, can come together as one to grow past this moment of turmoil.

The path we take is determined by all of us. So many feel their actions amount to nothing. That what they do doesn’t impact humanity as a collective. I disagree. I think every action and every inaction, contributes something. Every time you turn a blind eye to something that is wrong, it allows the opposition to gain momentum. Every time you do not listen to or validate those who have views different than yours, you drive the wedge between us a little bit deeper.

Validate does not mean you must concede. It does not mean the opposition is correct. It just means you can see why they think the way they do. To validate doesn’t mean we all need to agree; however, understanding why people think the way they do is imperative if you want to make sure your beliefs aren’t greatly flawed. If we wish to find resolution, we only get there when every idea is reconciled. Shifting how we fight for what matters to us can be all it takes to tip the scales and have our path this year be one of redemption instead of destruction.

When I look now for predictions for the year to come, I am going to embrace the path of change. The path that leads us to see where we have been wrong. The path that brings us back to center. That path is there. It is just waiting for us to decide to take it.

People are not inherently good. We are flawed by nature. When push comes to shove though, I believe wholeheartedly in the goodness of people. When people can see the truth around them, and the impact they make; most people choose the path that does the least damage to others. There will always be those with nefarious intentions. There will also always be those who are righteous. Most people fall somewhere in-between the two. Most people don’t accurately assess where they really fall on that scale in every situation. Try to keep that in mind as the challenges of this year come your way.

My prediction for this year is that clarity will find us and the rifts that divide us so harshly right now, will be smoothed over enough that we will find some common ground to stand on together. Things are going to get a bit darker before that light starts to shine through; but mark my words, by the time this year has come to a close, we will be living in a place that makes a whole lot more sense. 2023 will bring change – a change that will come close to breaking us, but in the end, we will be stronger together. Maybe we as people will finally learn a lesson that will actually stick with us and change humanity for the better.

My advice for the year is to be aware. Know the impact of your actions and beliefs. Follow them to the end of the line. Be sure they don’t have collateral damage. Right now, people aren’t doing that. Behave as though your fellow man is not your enemy. Because they aren’t. We must start to think more collectively and a little less personally if we wish to take the path that doesn’t lead to destruction. Your choices do help determine what path we all take.

I wish you all a good year. May the blessings you find be greater than the lessons. Whatever it is you are wishing to achieve this year, know that I believe in you all. Have faith that better days are coming!


This is where you can find all of the currently available rings I have crafted. I use sterling silver or solid copper as the metal unless it is an electroformed piece. Electroform is the process of preserving and item in a solid shell of metal. For instance, an electroformed leaf starts off with a real leaf and through a lengthy process, it becomes encased in copper. I strive to always use the highest quality materials and source only natural, non-enhanced stones. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to message me.

To view my current stock of rings, please click here and you will be redirected to my Square Space shop.


Is a stronger connection to your intuition what you are looking for? If you are feeling disconnected from yourself or if you are wanting to align with your own inner guidance, this might be the intention you need. Intuition is sought after when we wish to navigate the unseen. Aligning with the energetic world is where crystals hold strength. Intuition is nothing more than looking past what the physical, explainable world is telling us; and looking deeper for what our soul is trying to tell us.

What can crystals do to help? You might be surprised to see just how far a little bit of belief can get you. Often what we need most when we seek intuition is trust and faith. Crystals can help facilitate that connection. 

For more information on the crystals used in each piece, please visit the crystal information page.


sterling silver, iolite, labradorite, blue kyanite & amethyst. 7.5-inches



Sterling silver, sandalwood, iolite, blue lace agate, lapis lazuli, shungite, shattuckite & amethyst 9-inches.



Sterling silver, silver sheen obsidian, black tourmaline, garnet, labradorite, abalone shell & amethyst. 7.5-inches



Sterling silver, sapphire, shungite, iolite, rainbow moonstone & amethyst. 6.5- inches



Sterling silver, pietersite, labradorite, blue kyanite & amethyst. 7.25-inches


copper, labradorite & blue apatite on a 17.25-inch cord.



Sterling silver, Aquamarine & sapphire

on an 18-inch sterling silver chain



copper, tiger’s eye & lapis lazuli on a 17.25-inch cord.



copper, sapphire, labradorite, silver sheen obsidian on a copper chain. Measures 24 inches long.

$105. 00


copper, lodalite, biotite mica on a 21-inch cord



sterling silver & scapolite on a sterling filled chain and amethyst bead



copper, black tourmaline & shattuckite on a 21.5-inch cord.



copper, sapphire & rainbow moonstone on a copper chain. Adjustable up to 21.5-inches



copper, amethyst, labradorite, heliotrope & silver sheen obsidian on an 18.5-inch cord.



copper, tiger’s eye, heliotrope, golden rutilated quartz on a cord, adjustable up to 18-inches.



copper, super seven, golden rutilated quartz & amethyst on a 19.5inch leather cord



copper, lemurian quartz & lapis lazuli on a 19-inch cord.



copper electroformed feather, blue kyanite, quartz, gold sheen obsidian, unakite, black moonstone, heliotrope, smoky quartz & shungite on a 20.5-inch cord.



copper, tiger’s eye, moonstone on an 18.25-inch cord $



Copper & lapis lazuli “Evil Eye” with amethyst. 7.5-inches



Blue kyanite, labradorite & rainbow fluorite stainless steel wrap bracelet with amethyst and sterling silver. 13-inches



Lepidolite, labradorite, fluorite, gold sheen obsidian, smoky quartz, copper & amethyst. 7.25-inches



Blue apatite & labradorite stainless steel wrap bracelet with amethyst and sterling silver. 13-inches



sterling silver & sapphire spinner ring, size 9



Sterling silver & sapphire, size 9


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Working with energy is personal and there is no one size fits all when it comes to the perfect crystal match for an intention. There are some crystals that generally align well with particular goals. Sometimes suggestions can help us find our way to the energetic support system we need. Whether you believe that crystals can help attract what we are looking for, or if you think they are talismans that simply remind us of what we desire; the suggested pieces on this page might be ones that can help align you with the intention or goal you wish to better resonate with.

Crystals can align with many different intentions so you might find that one piece is useful for many different goals. It is also important to remember that a suggestion isn’t fact. If a crystal feels right for you, there is likely a reason. We don’t always see clearly what it is we need. We do, however, gravitate towards what it is that can get us to where we need to be. If you are unsure of your crystal selections, please feel free to message me for a free consultation to help you find your crystal match.

For more information on the individual crystals, you can find all of my crystal write ups and cheat sheets here.

Please click the images below to browse my available pieces by intention. If there is an intention you have that isn’t listed here, please email me at contactoutofthevoid@gmail.com


Thoughts From The Void


Various cultures approach the veneration of ancestors in very different ways. What we believe happens when we are no longer living is something people don’t quite agree on. I find there is beauty in all beliefs, but I prefer to keep things simple in my own practice. I feel one of the best ways we can connect to and honor those we love in spirit is to simply talk about them. Tell their stories, share our feelings, declare that we still love them. This seems too basic to actually be a thing that connects us to spirit, but I believe all energy has a frequency and spirit is energy. If you align yourself with a frequency you shared with loved ones, we strengthen our connection to them. Just by thinking of someone we connect to their energy. This does not change when we don’t have a physical body.

If there is someone in spirit you long to connect with, sometimes the best way to feel them is to remember them. They will know you are thinking of them regardless of the story; but if you find a story that you can recall in great detail, you just might help yourself overcome a huge roadblock the living tends to create for themselves. The preconceived notion is the biggest challenge we have when it comes to spirit – at least that is my experience. People want a message. People want a physical world sign. Spirit can’t be physical. It just can’t happen. While I believe just about anything is possible, there are laws that simply are too unreasonable to be broken. We can’t expect spirit to be like us, we can’t demand they communicate like they used to. We get stuck on this idea, and we miss what is right inside of us all along.


We don’t need to do anything special to communicate, we don’t need anyone who is chosen; our loved ones might not have a body, but we are spirit!

We already connect to people on an energetic level all the time. This we do without training, acknowledgment, or even belief. We just instinctually know how to do it. We only need to become aware of what we have done our entire existence. Just like we can become aware of our breathing, we can become aware of energy. If you learn to center, ground, shield, circulate energy & cut cords, and self-heal; we then know energy. We understand that we might not have all the answers, but we can use all aspects of communication.

Once you have mastered managing your energy, try to intentionally talk about your loved ones. Silence your mind, sit somewhere you feel safe and inspired, then tell your stories. This might feel odd at first because we frown upon talking to ourselves, but we are not talking to ourselves we are talking with spirit. Belief is imperative here. We are treating this no different than prayer, meditation, or any other form of spiritual practice. The moment we are done, we are no longer talking to spirit. We will bring our awareness back to the physical, but this story time will be a release and connection moment. We must be fully present and put all our faith into our ability to achieve a connection.

Once you begin to tell your story, just be still. Pay attention to how you feel. You must release what you want to happen, what you think will happen. You have to let go of it all. Trust and faith are what we need if we wish to gain comfort from our loved ones in spirit. Those in spirit who care for us will never do anything to cause us distress. They can often see the bigger picture that we can’t comprehend. So, we may want to see them, but in reality, if we were to see them it might cause us emotional distress that changes who we are and our ability to return to and function in the physical world. Spirit that is for us will NEVER do this to us. Not without just cause. This is why we must let go of what we want to happen. We have to trust that spirit is present, spirit will lend us what we need, but spirit who loves us is not going to cause us distress.

There is a shared frequency we experience with people. That “in love” feeling, mutual frustration, adoration, respect, whatever it might be; every story has a moment like that in it where our frequencies align. We might think it is one thing, I urge you to let that knowing go. Just remember every detail and allow yourself to be present in the story. Expect nothing. We will know it when we feel it. Just tell the story. Remember what it felt like to live it. When we get to that shared frequency part of our story, it can become amplified. It might be something that feels like it almost surrounds us. A noticeable shift in energy that makes you feel like you are not alone. If you feel this, this is the type of communication we are looking for. This is how spirit talks. Yes, our clair-senses can pick up lots of other more descriptive bits of information, but I like the simple way. A frequency will not lie. You can’t mistake a feeling.

What we want from our loved ones is a connection, to feel their presence. We might tell ourselves we want words but what words would really be sufficient? None. There are no words that could ever lend what we need. What we truly desire is to know our loved ones are not gone. That they are with us. This will be best conveyed with feelings – with energy. The frequency of intention will hold the guidance and comfort we seek every single time.

If your mother doesn’t agree with your choices, she doesn’t have to say a word. You just can feel it. If your father is proud of you but perhaps he is not the expressive type, you can feel it even if he can’t articulate it. We can absolutely understand each other without the use of spoken word. We can feel the energy of intention if we allow ourselves to. Communication with spirit is a time to utilize these skills. We can’t expect spirit to become physical but we are spirit, so we already know how to communicate “their” way.

Communication with spirit is usually subtle. One of the best places to start is the recognition of the energy of spirit. Your loved ones will feel like those shared frequencies in your stories. If you take the time to simply remember them, you might discover that they have never left you. Spirit is always with us, especially when we really need their support. If there is someone you wish to feel closer to, perhaps let go of how you want that connection to come and just tell some stories. Spirit will find the way that is best to let you know they are with you. All you have to do is believe.  


Thoughts From The Void


I believe we can all interact with spirit. I believe this can help us in the moments of despair we don’t prepare for. Moments like the loss of a loved one or serious trauma. I believe that in some moments the only comfort that can be gained will come from spirit. I also believe there are those in spirit who offer us what we want in a way that is less than pleasant. I can’t feel comfortable promoting the interaction with spirit until I have brought awareness to the “darkness”. We can’t pretend it isn’t a thing. That only makes us unaware. It doesn’t make it go away. There is no short way to describe interactions with spirit. Spirit is not going to be found in words. It is found in the things we feel. The in-between stuff. Nothing will be a substitute for personal experience, but I hope to convey an understanding of darkness and how it is a thing to be respected and revered. Some lessons can only come from finding your light in the dark.

The story that follows is copyright material from a book I may or may not ever publish. I do not give permission for anyone to use any parts of my story for personal gain. However, I do hope you will share it with anyone you feel might benefit from reading it. 

Not all signs from spirit are good.

It is summer 2017 and I am on the phone with my sister, we are bantering back and forth discussing an intense dream I had the night before. It was quite a distressing dream, it seemed so real. I felt like it meant something. What it meant I couldn’t be sure, but it just felt like something. You ever have one of those? A kind of nonsensical dream that linger with you long after you wake. The more than just a dream, type of dreams. Well, this one was a doozy. At the time, I was an avid believer who refused spirit. I spent my whole life that way. Knowing there was more than what we could touch and see but refusing to accept it. Seeing and refuting, this is my current relationship status with spirit. There is more to the world than what we can see, but only in theory. During this phone call, I have not yet had an experience I couldn’t convince myself wasn’t happening. I was very good at refusing proof. This is important because in a few short hours from this phone call I would be supplied with proof that I couldn’t explain away. An experience I couldn’t deny or avoid.

As my sister and I discuss the possible meanings of my dream, we arrive on the topic of our dead grandfather. We decide that the dream could have been a sign from “the other side”. As we reach this conclusion, I look out my sliding glass doors and see a butterfly. This was no ordinary butterfly. It fluttered about like it was on a mission. It appears its goal was to enter my home. It flew into the door a few times, thumping off the dirty glass, then frantically hovered in the patio for longer than seemed reasonable. The topic of conversation shifted to this bizarre bug behavior. It just stayed out there looking in on me as though it had something to say. The suggestion was made that perhaps this too was a message from our grandfather. As soon as the words were spoken, the butterfly flew off as though its message had been delivered.

The timing of it is the significant thing. This is the part of the story that can’t be articulated. This is always how spirit is I feel. The little things that can’t be explained. The “You had to be there” stuff. It is more than just a butterfly being outside then flying away. It is how I experienced it. How I noticed it, how it seemed to react to my thoughts, how it made me feel, then more importantly how I felt when the encounter ended. Often, we get stuck on the weird experience we miss this part. How the experience leaves us is just important as the acknowledgment of the experience. I couldn’t avoid the unreasonable feeling this flying bug was actually interacting with me. I knew it was illogical, but it just felt true.

This is a weird moment to work through. When your common sense tells you one thing, but you feel something in a way that you can’t make sense of or deny. The fight between the normal senses and the clair-senses; this is always uncomfortable. For a split second, I am filled with wonder and inspiration. That second faded quickly and that feeling of comfort transformed into something far more ominous. A feeling of deep despair in the pit of my stomach. A sense of impending doom that I couldn’t escape. It would be over a month before I would gain relief from that feeling. How could a butterfly provoke such a strong emotional response?

I have learned the hard way not to put too much stock into signs and symbols if I can help it. Unless I am actively engaging in mindful divination, I find it best to ignore signs until I can’t avoid them. This moment of the invasive butterfly was the beginning of that particular lesson. A symbol can mean anything. Symbols can inspire but they can also be a tool for manipulation. The butterfly is an omen of transformation for most. Many see it as a good sign. It is not uplifting for me. It is one of the most frightening symbols I encounter. When I see a butterfly and get one of those unavoidable feelings it is usually a warning. This is my meaning, not everyone’s meaning. Transformation is not beautiful. It is not inspirational. It is painful. It is horrifying. Sure, the result is beautiful, but the struggle doesn’t always reap benefits. Not everyone gets to the reward stage every time. The butterfly is not a happy symbol when I can’t avoid its message. The butterfly means to me that I should prepare because shit is about to get real. This is not the only butterfly I have encountered this way. Every time it happens, something is about to change. These events that promote change are not metaphorical. When I deal with symbols, there is someone in spirit directly influencing. Those interactions are not in theory or what-ifs, they are as real as we are.

Was the butterfly in this story my grandfather? Not likely, but who knows. Maybe it was a warning that I needed to change. I needed to wake up. My soul was not content, and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. When spirit needs something, it will find a way. That includes our own spirit. The several weeks that followed would be my catalyst for change. This was not beautiful. Not only was the reward not a guarantee but it also wasn’t the most likely outcome. At least, not from my perspective anyway. The crushing weight of hopelessness would be all I could find as the lesson I was about to learn could only be taught within the darkness.

I have always known spirit.

There was a woman who walked the halls of my childhood home. She would pace up and down the steps and back and forth in the hall as everyone slept. This woman did not live with my family. This woman did not live at all. I could see her. I could hear her. I could feel her. I could also convince myself she wasn’t real. I didn’t do this by thinking of her or explaining her away. I did it by ignoring her. I pretended I was somewhere else. “This isn’t happening” would be something I would repeat in my head. I was young and afraid. I grew up with people who believed in spirit but only the good kind. Except for my grandfather, I think he accepted both sides although he didn’t seem to hold fear. You would think having “believers” around would make it easier to discuss the topic of the woman in the halls, but it really didn’t.

You know when you just know something? Something you can’t explain but you just know. I felt this woman was “harmful”. This caused me fear. I knew if I said something, I would either get the response that there is nothing there or nothing will hurt me. Both were not helpful to me, so I said nothing. Looking back, I don’t think the woman held malice, but she did pose a threat. I believe she was sort of stuck there, almost as though she was bound to something that was made of malice. Something else that lurked in my family home.

I didn’t fear all spirit, some of these imaginary people I spoke to quite freely with no cause for concern. I just didn’t let myself believe that they were what they were. I avoided defining that. They weren’t imaginary, they weren’t real, they just were. Some provoked fear. Some did not look like people at all. What did I do when I encountered these spirits? I just hid under my blankets like any reasonable person would do. I am pretty sure that is self-defense method number one when it comes to “ghosts”, right? This was always effective for me. I would hide under the blankets, insist the moment was not the moment I was in, and then I would be in a dream somewhere else. This seems insignificant on the surface, but this is my foundation for controlling what some might call “astral travel.” This is when we take our consciousness somewhere other than our physical location. This is something I never knew I was doing, but after a lifetime of hiding from the spirits around me only to go find others in a “waking dream”, I am fairly comfortable with this assessment of the situation. What we are capable of is only limited by our ability to believe. You might be surprised to see just how far a little bit of belief will get you.  

“Astral” is a place for hope and nightmares alike.

So why the double flashback? Well, that self-defense method was about to come into play again, only this time it didn’t work. This time, the spirit present came with me. The thing about “astral” is that it is not so different from the physical. Everything feels the same. When something hurts, it hurts. If something feels good, you feel good the same as you would in the physical world. It can be very difficult to tell the difference if you are not fully aware. Just like those intense dreams that feel real, at the moment you have no idea it is not the “real world”. When you wake, the memory of it feels so real, but your physical body is okay. This is so confusing. Having memories of experiences but having nothing to show for it; if that doesn’t make you feel crazy then you likely are a bit out of your mind. My number one coping mechanism for dealing with the things I knew could not be real, was to go somewhere else. You take that how you want to. There is no describing the experiences, it will always be a “You had to be there” moment.

Now, back to the butterfly. I went about my day and after a really bizarre sequence of events, I went to bed. I was tired, but my heart was pounding. Like a backup drummer who finally gets his solo, my heart was beating a tune that I couldn’t quiet. “Do I have anxiety?” I wonder to myself. What could be causing my heart to beat like this? I am tired, I need rest, why am I all amped up? My thoughts begin to race. A replay of the events of the day begins. Each moment was analyzed and overanalyzed to borderline obsession. I trace each feeling of the day back to its origin. How I feel about family, why certain things bother me, why I am the way I am. I pause my mind for just a moment and think “What am I doing?” This replay of memories is something I often encounter when I come across certain spirits. To me, this is sort of like snooping through someone’s text messages. A gathering of intel – so to speak. Our thoughts create a frequency, spirit understands frequency. This is the basis for telepathy. As I said, you might be surprised how far belief will get you.

Spirit is in the subtle things.

I feel the room shift. Something feels like something. That is not very helpful or descriptive but there isn’t a word for it. It just feels like I need to stop. Like I am not alone. Almost like in a movie when someone important walks into the room and everyone stops what they are doing. The feeling of silence. It feels like that moment. I think of the butterfly, and I open my eyes. Standing to my left is darkness. Not just the lights out dark but a figure, an outline of a silhouette, and it immense. The room is dark and still, I can see the shadow is darker. It is solid black, but that is unreasonable. Shadows are not solid. Shadows don’t move independently either. It just stands before me a moment before moving closer. It moves so slow, as though it savors the moment. I have never known a terror quite like this. 

I quickly employ my favorite defense method: hide and deny. I throw the blankets over my head and try to think happy thoughts. This is not effective. I can’t escape. I can’t go anywhere else. I am stuck. All I can see is black. I bring my focus to the blanket that is over my head. “This can’t be happening” I repeat this over and over in my mind. As I do, I feel the bed next to me compress. Someone is sitting on the bed. I can feel it, the blankets have tightened, and the bed has moved. I can’t imagine that, can I? I feel the bed dip down and my own body shifts towards it. I can feel the bed is lower next to me. I tell myself I am not afraid. I know that is important, but the words are empty. I am filled with fear. I can see it, the shadow, my eyes are open, and I am under the blanket, but I can see it just the same. It is like someone has put a surveillance camera in the room and it’s hooked up to a tv in my mind. I see it next to me inching closer and as it does, I can feel that side of my body change.

Everyone talks about the temperate when they talk of spirit. They always say it gets cold. Well, there is a certain kind of spirit that does the opposite. Half of my body, the parts that are closest to the shadow, feel as though they are on fire. I am sweating so bad. I tell myself it is because I am under the blankets, and I am stressing myself out. I am having some kind of anxiety attack and I need to just relax. Snapback to reality is all. There is nothing to be afraid of, I am not afraid. 

“If you are not afraid, look left.” 

This voice I hear is not my own. It is deep, it is commanding, it is the voice of doom. It is not my voice. I can’t control it. I cannot avoid it. I cannot stop it. I also can’t understand what it is or why I am hearing it. It is now pressed up against my cheek, I can feel it heavy on my skin. Like someone intensely staring you face to face, you can feel their breath. I feel radiating heat coming from the area directly to my left. I am under the blankets but that doesn’t matter. The origin of the heat is not me or the blanket. I can’t hide from this voice. The blankets tighten around me, and it feels like I am being pricked by thousands of static shocks. I feel as though I am underwater but there is no water, only pressure. Every breath is labored. Every second filled with panic. I want to scream but can’t. I am paralyzed with fear. This can’t be happening.

These were just the first few moments of an attack that lasted over a month. This shadow came with me everywhere I went. There was no haunted item or location, I was the haunted item. The shadow was with me, and it wasn’t going to leave on its own accord. I felt the absence of all hope, when I closed my eyes all I could see was darkness and the shadow. Everything hurt. I felt continuous electric shocks and it was as though my blood was boiling. I shook constantly, not like a tremor or nervous tick, it was more. It was as though I was vibrating from the deepest part of my body. Nothing I felt could be understood or explained. Trying to articulate it sure did make me feel and look mental. What do you do when you are stalked by a shadow? Who do you turn to for relief?

There was no physical proof. Nothing that would provide me with reinforcements. This was not a few quick moments of panic; this was over a month of constant confusion and despair. A million moments that couldn’t possibly be real. That voice of doom never left. It wouldn’t silence. It never stopped speaking aside from when it would trick me into believing it was gone. It liked to do that. It enjoyed letting me think it was over, only to rip that hope away. It was so terrible, but I tried to function anyway. 

I went to work and did my best to go through the motions. I was a waitress at the time, and I remember trying to hear the world around me above what only I could hear. Why didn’t anyone else hear this? How could it be so intense for me but not a single soul could do anything other than mock me? I walked to a table to take their order. The entire time the voice just said, “Iced tea.” Over and over and over again, it just repeated “Iced tea”. I couldn’t even hear myself breathe; it was so loud. When I asked the people at the table what beverage they wanted, they both said iced tea. This is the type of terror we are talking about. If I told you that a demon was taunting me and all he said was iced tea, I am sure you would not comprehend the gravity of the situation. My attacker knew this. The tactics used to cause me to unravel were beyond brilliant. The level of mastery at their craft is beyond measure. Their craft is destruction from within. They do this without leaving a shred of evidence. 

Knowing things before they happen is not cool or fun. It is confusing in a way that promotes a feeling of hopelessness. This part we have seen in a movie. When the character experiences something and they can’t get a single person to understand or believe them. The panic it creates is self-made, but it is real and nearly unavoidable. It is not enough for most people to find horrifying though, unless it happens to you. Then you know this is far worse than most physical attacks. 

That voice of doom would quote people before they spoke which left me with a lingering feeling of “Did you see that?” without a single person to validate the unexplainable things I would hear and see. It got to the point where I couldn’t tell if anything was really happening because I would get visions of events, I watch things happen in detail and then they would happen a few moments later. Which is the real one? These are the tools of the spiritual attack. The manipulation of thought and feeling, not the turning of heads and floating appliances.

How long could you endure that? How long could you experience the unexplainable without validation, without an ally? It is easy to say that it is not a big deal. However, the villain of my story knows every weakness of mine. Every fear, every desire, everything. Everything is fair game. It is a master of manipulation, and it responds to my energy, not my words. Nothing is hidden from it; it knows me better than I know me right now. I am not aware of my energy, I do not manage it, I don’t even fully believe it is real. That is my biggest disadvantage. How do you fight a battle you aren’t even sure you are fighting? If the me from today was faced the same exact scenario, it would play out differently. I would be afraid, but it would different. This is only due to my own awareness. I have no extra skills now, it’s just me. Just me and spirit, only now, I believe in both “sides”. I believe I am not alone – even if all I see is darkness.

There is an explanation for everything, right?

Of course, this is my imagination. Obviously I am suffering some kind of breakdown, right? I wish. I really wished this was the case. I did go to several doctors, and I told my story in great detail to them all. The only thing that came out of it was a good amount of discomfort on the part of the doctors and a feeling of amplified hopelessness for me. The issue is, I was not crazy. There was no diagnosis that fit. This description of that first encounter with spirit that I couldn’t avoid, this is just one moment of one night. The shadow and the feelings it brought with it, was with me every second of every day until I eventually found a healer who was able to offer some help. The “demons” people place in their scary stories are very real. Our understanding is a bit off in my opinion, but they are real just the same.

The word “demon” is a vast blanket term used to describe many different energies. Sort of like saying that all living things that are not people are the same. If we lumped plants, mammals, fish, birds, bugs, fungi, and everything that lives into one category; this would be comparable to the general use of the word demon. I don’t claim to have a full grasp of this topic. I have studied it intentionally since the moment I met that shadow and I have been a bit obsessed with the topic for most of my life. Still, the only thing I know is that I can’t possibly ever know anything for sure. There is always more at play than I am aware of. When I think I have an understanding, spirit reminds me I can’t know everything.

I believe there are more than just human spirits. I can’t believe there is only good and bad with a clear line between them. What happens when someone good has to do something bad? What happens when someone bad does something good? What is good for me might be bad for someone else. For a lion to eat, a gazelle must die. Who is the good guy in that scenario? If we hold this logic, it blurs the line of good and evil just a bit. Right is still right in my opinion, and I feel if it harms someone intentionally or if we are careless and it causes harm, it is wrong. I also believe that imposing on someone else’s free will is something that will likely result in a negative outcome. Everything else is situational. 

I have tremendous conflict within myself about that shadow. It held nothing good for me. It was quite determined to destroy me. It made that inescapably clear and it almost succeeded. However, that experience was a catalyst for change. Change I needed. Without that life-altering spiritual trauma, I would not be who I am today. My path was taking me somewhere very different. Somewhere much darker. No, I wasn’t engaging in any kind of ritual or spiritual anything at the time. I was completely devoid of it all to be honest. I cared for nothing because I knew such pain such turmoil, I had to hide from it. I had to hide from myself. Sometimes if we are to combat the things of darkness, we require someone familiar with the territory. Sometimes the darkness comes from inside of us. Should I be thankful? Was that a blessing in disguise? It’s hard to be objective about it but in the moments when I can find logic and release the pain from the experience, I see that in the end, I benefited from unexplainable pain. I sure don’t promote that form of lesson learning and I hope that you can go about your entire life thinking this is a fabricated story. If you can, that means you will never be subjected to that sort of tough lesson. I prefer you not be able to resonate with this story. This is not an experience I wish anyone to fully comprehend. 

It’s not like the movies.

What was so bad about it? It doesn’t sound all that scary. Movies make it seem way more intense, right? One of the last nights I spent with that shadow it said something to me that reinforces the idea that our perception is so harmful for the few that encounter this type of spiritual experience. It said, “There is no coming back from this. It’s not like the movies ya know.” I will never forget those words. Those words have kept me pushing forward. They caused me to keep clawing my way out of the void. No one gets to tell me what I can do. No one gets to tell me what I am capable of. Still, it was right. It is not like the movies. There is no one to help you. No one to lean on. No one to understand. If you want to heal from demonic possession, you have only yourself to turn to. Even putting it in writing is difficult to this day. Still, that is part of my story, and I won’t pretend it isn’t.

Spiritual experiences are usually personal.

Interactions with spirit are subtle, this is a blessing and a curse depending on the scenario. Not all spirit is harmful. I remember standing, shaking, unable to take a breath before speaking at my father’s funeral. I kept thinking I had no business to speak. No one would want to hear what I had to say. I began to panic and was a second from running out the door in dramatic fashion when I heard “Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.” Yes, I am sure I have seen it on a meme somewhere, but this voice was not mine and when I heard it, I was filled with a sense of calm. Strength from deep within my belly came forth and I went up and read from my paper the entire time with spirit telling me to keep going. Not a single person in the room knew what I was hearing, but without it, I don’t think I could have stood there and said what I needed to say.

This is a blessing of spirit. When spirit has something less helpful to offer, it becomes a waking nightmare. Just the same as spirit can promote calm and strength, spirit can also promote fear and anxiety. The damage these emotions can do is far more lasting than a flying chair could ever be. If your furniture is flying about and you are levitating on your bed, you also will have allies. People will believe your struggle. People will try to help. You will not be alone. This is what that shadow meant. The odds are stacked against you when recovering from something like a traumatic spiritual experience. Part of how we heal is when others empathize and validate our experiences. People do not like to entertain the topic of “demons”. We like to keep that stuff as fiction because it is too scary to be real. Areas of unknown are places we like to have the power. When we can’t know we like to feel strong. This is an area of not knowing and faith. This is not a topic everyone can embrace as truth. That is okay.

Going back is not the only option

For a very long time, it seemed as though there would be no coming back. No one would believe me. I would forever know this happened to me and no one will ever understand. I would know these nightmares are real and out there and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t heal because I can’t feel safe. I can’t feel safe because I can’t hide from shadows. This felt mostly true for a long time. While there were no people I knew already that would believe me, people that had experienced something similar; thanks to the internet, I have found people who have. Sure, some people have not fully come back to reality after experiencing something so unexplainable, but that is the misconception we encounter most often. It isn’t that these people are telling nontruths, it is that they can’t articulate their experiences in a way that is comprehensive to those who did not experience it with them. Trying to process even the surface information here is beyond difficult. It just defies all logic.

I still remember my irrational response once I was finally free from that shadow. I declared in hysterical fashion, “It’s all real, everything is real.” I spiraled down a rabbit hole of relief and panic. I could not find words that made sense to anyone, including myself. It was all far too unreasonable to believe but it was the only thing that made sense. Just like that butterfly, it wasn’t only seeing the butterfly it was the little things, the things that can’t be articulated. These things are how I knew I wasn’t just crazy. There are a certain number of coincidences that just become unreasonable. I surpassed that number by far and then stopped counting. There simply was no logic, no real-world explanation for it all. The shadow knew that even when the time came that it was “removed”, I would never be the same. The thing is, who I was shouldn’t be who I became. Going back wasn’t my best choice. I needed to be someone different.

We almost always have many paths we can take but this time there were only three. I could become consumed by the experience and then fall into the area of developing serious mental illness. I could get stuck in the trauma and try to make sense of it by questing to bring awareness or save others from a similar experience. Or I could heal. I could accept it and find a faith beyond measure. I could be okay with the fact that there will never be another person who can empathize, who will understand, who will comprehend what I went through. The third path was the least likely option. It would also be the path I took last. That is the funny thing about paths. We always talk about which one is our path. Like we can only choose one. Many times, it is like wandering a labyrinth. We take one path only to find it is not one we need, but the only way to know that is to make the wrong turn. As we backtrack, we learn more than we could have if we didn’t take that path. So, in the end, there really is no wrong path to take. 

I did all three choices. I first became consumed. I didn’t sleep, I was paranoid, and rightfully so. I just learned “demons” were real and I had no protection or understanding. Then I wanted to fight. I wanted to save the world from suffering like I did. Only, this is not helpful because sometimes we must suffer so that we can change. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Sometimes we have to learn that there is great evil but there is also great good to match it. After a while, I could either go back down the road that ended with mental illness, or I could try to have faith. Finding acceptance is really the most difficult part of any trauma. The relief that comes after acceptance is worth facing those difficult truths though.

Spirit is right here with us all the time.

Where does that leave us? The world of spirit is not some other place. It is not far away in some distant dimension. There are both helpful and harmful spirits and we can learn something from all of them. The bad guys don’t simply hide in spooky graveyards or abandoned buildings. They can be found in the light and the darkness just the same. The damage they cause is not like it is in the movies. It is subtle and it is significant. The number one resource we have in preventing issues with spirit, is our own strength. Our own power, our own faith that we are enough. That we are equal. We do get to determine what influences our energy. I never paid attention to that. I also had to learn this the hard way. Some people just believe they are powerful, that they deserve to exist and are equal to all others. When we know this, our energy declares it. I did not know this. I refused to believe this. It took years of encounters and attacks before I would get the point. I didn’t learn some secret technique to defend myself. Although I have studied many beliefs and rituals, the best method of defense I have found, the most effective measure we can take, is ownership of our own energy.

The things of scary stories are real. This does not mean we must be afraid. They are not more powerful than we are. Every energy has an opposing force. For every evil, there is a good to match it. Spirit can feed on our energy. Spirit can manipulate energy to promote certain behaviors. Not all spirit can be trusted. If we work to maintain a healthy frequency, we are not a match for those in spirit who engage in this form of interaction. If we are aware and work to maintain a strong sense of self, we really reduce the odds of ever having an issue of spirit. Should the time come when we fail to maintain our boundaries, when we encounter a situation beyond our ability to remedy, spirit will be there. We are never alone. There are few things I know for sure, but this I don’t question. When we need spirit, spirit responds. We are never alone. 


Thoughts From The Void


Now, before I say a single word about the topic of this article, I want to make it inescapably clear that NO ONE knows the “truth” about spirit and as such, no one can claim to own absolute truth about any information surrounding the topic of spirit guides. Including me. This is imperative to remember. Many people will contest this, but I stand firm here and will be unmovable. You are welcome to argue and debate with me because I embrace all ideas, but to say anyone can know for sure can be an extremely dangerous and harmful practice. What is true for one individual may be false for another when it comes to spirit. This is the only truth I know and have been shown. If you feel you have a spirit guide, if you believe everyone is “assigned” one, that is great, and I am not contesting anything that brings you peace. You believe what you want to believe. Anything that is your personal truth, when it comes to spirit, rarely can be contested by another living person. With all that said, I am not sure I can articulate my beliefs on this controversial topic, but it is an important area of concern for many so I will try. My struggles here hold insight and hope that I would like to share.

Those who know me well will likely think I have no business talking about this area of spirit. I actively refuse the idea of spirit guides. It isn’t a lack of belief that causes me to feel this way. Stay with me a moment. I am not going to refute the concept of guides all together. It’s our perception and desire that bring about the issues I have encountered. I usually hear people speaking of their guides and telling others how they might find theirs. I am not one of those people. I am someone who never will put a name to those who guide me in spirit. I think my thoughts can help others gain an alternative perspective on this sometimes faith diminishing aspect of working with spirit. This is my hope. This is why I write this. Sometimes when we seek a guide or ally in spirit, it is because we lack one in the physical world. When we can’t find what we are looking for it does tend to fill us with despair. I want to make sure no one who looks for spirit finds despair. This should be the one place we always find hope.

I do not refuse the idea of spirit guides because I lack communication with one. It is actually quite the opposite. I have no shortage of “spirits” claiming to be a guide. Someone who “has my back” and will “show me the way”. Spirit who has the answers and guidance I require for both myself and others. This is what people seek. This is what people want. So why do I take issue with this practice? Well, because spirit also says that “No one gets to cheat.” If the answers you seek are easily accessible, this causes me to raise an eyebrow and ask “Why?” Am I that thick-headed that I require someone to tell me exactly what is? Am I so slow and incapable of being a human that someone in spirit needs to provide me with a clear outline as to how to conduct myself? Do I need information about future events because I simply own zero skills that will allow me to care for myself or avoid danger? Or is it that I am so special that I was chosen to be the voice of spirit for others? I think not. Yet if I believed all of the “guides” I have come across, all of these statements would be true. So, this leads me to question the authentic nature of what we believe to be “spirit guides”.

Do I believe spirit is there? Do I believe spirit will help? Of course I do, and I believe it without question. I suppose my issue lies in the weight people place on the word of a “spirit guide”. People hold the advice from spirit above their own sometimes and this is a gray area that can either be helpful or harmful depending on the scenario. I have been told many times that “No one knows everything.” I believe this goes for spirit as well. Everything is always changing with the application of free will, so no one can know all things. Some can have more clarity and insight than others, but no one knows everything. If you own a connection to a guide and it has been beneficial for you, I think that is inspiring; but I also strongly believe that what one person needs is not what everyone needs. We tend to forget this, and it is really important to apply this logic when it comes to all things spirit. This piece I am writing is not necessarily for those who know their guides, although I feel you should always question them – if your belly calls you to. This is for those feeling a bit lost or overwhelmed because they “can’t” find their guide or ally.

What does spirit look like?

My beliefs on this topic originated because of how I heard others speak of their guides. There is often a physical description and a belief that their guide is some kind of someone. An angel, a Native American, an ascended master, a this that or another “enlightened being”. There are many flaws in this that I can’t quite resolve. Perhaps it is my personal flaw that I must find the source, the truth behind things, that prevents me from just accepting this is how things are. Perhaps it’s just that I strongly dislike it when people are led astray. I don’t like when people give away their own power. Who knows for sure? I can say that when I see spirit, I see energy. When I see energy, it changes form. It doesn’t just look like a wise old man, or a glowing angelic presence, it looks like energy. What I see always changes depending on who else is around and what the situation is.

If past lives are a thing, how could spirit look any one way?

Why is it that if people believe we potentially have had several “past lives”, but they also believe we are each guided by a spirit; how can we also believe that their spirit guide looks any one way? We are both masculine and feminine energy. This would mean our spirit is not a girl or a boy. If my spirit has been many people before, how could I look just like me now if I was in spirit? This logic applies especially when a spirit is at peace. This is an issue that I resolve to the concept that spirit appears as we will best receive them. This is likely why I see spirit as energy because I wouldn’t buy it if they looked like just one “thing”. There have been a few exceptions to this notion, but overall, I believe spirit appears to us as we will best receive them. This also means that spirit can look like anything. If spirit can look like anything, how is it you can be sure that the spirit of Aunt Betty is really Aunt Betty? Discernment is key, but the level of mastery spirit owns in this area is beyond comprehension. I believe it is possible to know the difference, but I also believe it is far more difficult than most people realize.

This idea that spirit can look, sound, feel, and be anything; this can strike fear in some. Especially those who apply common sense to their practice. I think fear is healthy. A child with no fear, with no regard for their wellbeing, often finds themselves getting injured far more often than the child who is more cautious. Fear is a tool we have. It is an alert system that tells us we should be careful. Unbalanced fear is an issue, but healthy fear is a very useful tool. Many hold no fear of spirit, and this simply blows my mind! Perhaps they have been blessed to never have experienced the less than pleasant side of spirit; and if this is the case, I do hope they continue to not experience it. I, unfortunately, have an intimate understanding of the not so delightful interactions with spirit. My errors are why I have formed my opinions. It is not a lack of experience that brings me to this article. It is an overabundance of it. While my experiences may not match up with everyone’s, they are still valid.

Is it just me and the darkness?

So where does that leave me? Do I just not believe in spirit because it is too scary? Do I navigate the energetic world alone? Do I have no allies? Is it only me and the darkness? My trusting nature early on taught me many lessons the very hard way. For a long time, I did operate this way. “It’s just me, no help is coming”. This is something I have sat and cried more times than I care to reveal. The truth is the world of spirit can be a frightening place; especially if you feel you have no allies. I have found myself in those moments, panic-stricken and afraid, many times after I trusted one of those “helpful spirits”. One who had my answers. One who offered me everything. One who held malice under their mask of perfection. These spirits all taught me something of immeasurable value. Lessons I couldn’t acquire any other way. Are they my guides? No, I think not. But I do think everyone can teach you something if you are willing to learn. These moments of despair have taught me the most valuable lesson. While I am never alone, the greatest ally I will ever have is always going to be myself. The most powerful force I can harness is my own energy. I am never alone, but it is my word, my guidance, my spirit I need most. While I won’t put a name to my allies in spirit, I know I am never alone. Maintaining that belief in those moments of turmoil is typically where I fail myself.

Is there a guardian spirit who walks beside me?

Many believe we are assigned a spirit guide at birth. Someone who is with us always. I hold many issues here most of which I can’t resolve. I know there is necessary evil in this world. I understand this and I accept it. Some evils are so hard to describe, to understand, evils not of the physical world. If there has always been someone in spirit assigned to help me, why did they do nothing when I was young? Why did they do nothing when I met these nightmarish evils? This is always something that I struggle with because I feel children are innocent. I suppose this is flawed thinking. If we have many lives, then we could never be truly innocent. All experiences shape us, all experiences are needed. This is what I am told when I ask about this issue I have. If I had an ally all this time, where were they when I needed them? Why did they do nothing when the things of nightmares were all I could see, all I knew? Things not of the physical world that no one could understand. That no one could believe. Things that negatively influenced my physical world. Where was the opposition then? Where were the “good guys”? Why did they leave me alone? Why was it always just me and the “bad guys”? This is something I tantrum over often. It just seems unfair, but I suppose that’s life, right? Spirit or physical, some things are just unfair. We have something to learn and that is why things are how they are. That is a shitty answer. Still, it’s the only answer I ever get.

The number of experiences I have had that were less than pleasant are too vast to count. My faith has varied over the years. Who and what I believed in has changed and continues to evolve as I do. One thing I have never been able to contest is the existence of those “things of nightmares”. I have always known they are real. I also have always believed in their “opposition” as we might like to think of them. All my life I have believed in the idea of a “guardian angel”, and while I don’t think I can comfortably use that term in the literal sense, I do think that spirit looks out for all of us. I don’t think they intend to prevent our sufferings; I just think they walk alongside us as we endure what we need to. I believe they are there every step of the way. I believe both good and evil walk beside us.

We don’t get what we want, but we have exactly what we need.

I believe some people need a strong connection with a guide they can describe. With a spirit they can relate to. I believe some people require a connection to self-more. I believe for some, the idea of a spirit guide is hugely beneficial, and for others it can destroy them from the inside. I believe that no one can tell you which of the two you are. What you need is personal and only spirit and self can determine that. I know most people want someone to tell them who their guide is. I have fallen victim to this thinking as well. The major issue with this is, if spirit is always present, which I believe they are, and spirit hasn’t told you directly, then maybe spirit doesn’t feel it is best. This of course is my opinion, but I know spirit can always find way. If spirit wants us to know something, everything in my experience has told me they will make it clear – one way or another. When we take the information about our own spiritual connections from another human, we give away our power. We sidestep the “getting to know you” phase where trust is established. When we do this, we open ourselves up to misinterpretation and trouble. Those who work closely with spirit know that trust is everything. When dealing with something we can’t explain or understand, something we can’t prove or justify; trust is all we have. Trust is earned, not granted. If we give trust because we think we should and not because we have an unshakable knowing, a belief that can’t be altered, this is a recipe for disaster.

I am a bit difficult about this topic and my experiences have led me to be that way. It is not skepticism but rather self-preservation that calls me to question spirit. I am not desperate for spirit interaction or guidance. I will not be. I refuse. This was not always the case. It’s been a long hard road to get here, but I have learned we are all equal. Those in spirit and those in the physical – we are all equal. If someone has something of value for my journey, if someone is there to help me in some way that has no motive other than to help me, they will earn my trust, or I will not trust them. If there is a way I can assist spirit, it will be very clear to me, and I will still have the choice. It is that simple. Those in spirit who have my back don’t offer a name. They tell me not to seek them. I am told every single time that if guidance is what I seek, I must find myself. This is frustrating advice to receive from spirit. I don’t want to find me I want to find who helps me, right? The thing is, when I look for “guides” I find them. The use of mediations or prayers, petitions or rituals, these aren’t effective for me. If I try to find spirit, I find spirit. Not all spirit has good intentions. So, for people like me, the current advice offered is not helpful. It is harmful. If you are someone who runs into this issue, perhaps stop looking for an ally and start looking for yourself.

Do I “work” with spirit guides? There is no easy answer to that. I involve spirit with all things I do. I don’t try to know who I speak to. I don’t try to determine if they are good or bad. I use my discernment and find if the information is valid. Is it helpful, is it necessary, is it cheating? If the information gained is something that is too insightful, I do my best to ignore it. If it is something that doesn’t provide immediate understanding, I try to ignore it. If it is something that will send me on a wild goose chase, I tend to ignore it. Spirit that doesn’t offer me anything is typically the spirit I embrace. Spirit that tells me nothing but waits for me to find the answer, this is the spirit I try to not ignore, but usually do. Spirit that doesn’t call me to question the nature of the interaction, these are the spirits that might fall into the category of “guide”. Are they assigned? It doesn’t feel right to me, but I don’t know and honestly, I don’t care. I have seen the guides of others and I know without question they have been nothing but helpful for me personally. I have also seen the guides of others and known I should not engage. Our discernment is everything when it comes to working with spirit. If you can’t trust yours, you won’t get very far.

What is good for one person is not good for all people.

If I want to know if a spirit is there to guide me, I typically will say that they are not. If someone in spirit is beneficial for me, I will feel it and won’t need to question at all. Although, I will still question it. I refer back to the guidance I always get when I wonder if spirit has my back and that is “Find yourself and you will find me.” I feel guidance comes from within, not from outside of ourselves. I think spirit is so much more than we can understand. How we interact is so personal.

Are spirit guides real? Does everyone have one? I really can’t say for sure. What I can say is that if you haven’t found yours just yet, perhaps a shift in perspective is all you need. Spirit is always present. That much I believe with no doubt. I believe there is balance. I believe there is good and bad. I believe we have access to both. I believe when we need guidance, when we need spirit, we will always have exactly what we need. The place to look is just not outside of ourselves. We must look within and have faith that even if we don’t understand, spirit is there. We have to know that even if we lack faith in ourselves at times, spirit never does. Spirit always has faith in us. While we can’t understand spirit, spirit does understand us. In my experience, those in spirit who lend us assistance or guidance don’t ever require anything in return. They don’t seek recognition. They don’t offer us anything. They just lend us what we need silently. There is no confusion it just is. Not having a name or description for your guide does not make you some kind of “novice”. We are all people just trying to learn the lessons and experience life. Everyone is a novice. We have always been in communication with spirit, even if we don’t recognize it. If you don’t have a name for your guide, maybe it isn’t because you are less “spiritual” or lack a connection to spirit, maybe you are just like me; perhaps it is better for you in the long run to not know. Sometimes we need to just have faith – not know.

When in doubt, trust yourself.

Stories, plots, names, descriptions; all of this can be unnecessary and even distracting. What is for us will always be for us, we don’t need to seek it or define it. We are a part of spirit and spirit is a part of us. While not all spirit is good, it’s not all bad either. There is balance. We are not special because we interact with spirit. We all do it every day, we just don’t all realize it. None of us are special but we all have something invaluable to lend the world. Should your guidance from spirit contest that, you may want to dig a bit deeper and find yourself. In times of confusion or spiritual turmoil, we are the ones who bring us clarity. It will never come from the outside; I feel our truest guidance must come from deep within ourselves. Our spirit holds the insight we need, but our spirit is never alone.

There are varying levels of deceit I have encountered, some of this was perpetuated by my own fear of being fooled again. From the obvious fake promises of blessings, the compliments and delusion of grandeur, the scare tactics and fear-based approach, or the less noticeable helpful daily guidance and advice, the precognitive information for myself and others, the impersonation of those I trust or know, to the most low-key charade pretending to be exactly what a guide might be; I have run the gauntlet of them all. All of which I have fallen victim to. Still, the ones who offer me nothing are usually the ones that remain. The ones who insist I find myself, the ones who are just there, these are the ones that don’t cause trouble or distress. Sometimes if we wish to gain a connection to those who have our back in spirit, we have to stop looking and just believe we are worthy of having them. We have to know they are there even if we don’t understand them. We have to have faith and faith is not knowing.

Spirit is always present, this much I do know. I know we are all equal. So, for me, my faith will build upon that. If you struggle to find inspiration and peace within this area of spirit, maybe you can take a similar approach. Remember that while we might not always understand or recognize spirit, spirit is there lending us what we need anyway. We are never alone.


Thoughts From The Void

We all can and do communicate with spirit. Some seek answers to life’s mysteries or guidance for every day life; but the real benefit to learning how to communicate with spirit comes when we face the end of life. Death is something we all face eventually and the loss of a loved one can be devastating. One way to soften the blow is to have a connection to spirit and understand your own way to communicate with those who don’t live in the physical world.

Below you will find a series of articles that might help to get you started on your path to finding your way of communicating with spirit.

*This post is under construction. All articles in this series should be uploaded by the end of the month.

Part One – Balance
Part Three – Spirit Guides
Part Five – In The Darkness
Part Seven – Practive Makes Perfect
Part Two – Of the Light
Part Four – There Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of
Part Six – Ancestors
Part Eight – Remembering Spirit


Thoughts From The Void


The age-old concept of good vs evil is something that many find themselves embracing on some level. Sometimes the ideas we discuss regarding this ever-present war, are not in alignment with the idea of balance. Some believe that good always wins, or that balance is good prevailing. The notion that things will work out because there is balance is flawed. Things can go either way because there is a balance to this world. The scales tip in either direction, in a constant struggle for balance. Balance is not something that is always achieved, it is something the world strives for.

If we think of a scale, the kind where we weigh one object against the weight of another, each side must be in perfect equivalent shares for the sides of the scale to be at rest and level. This is not usually instantaneous. When we place objects on this type of scale, the objects are set in motion and the sides float up and down until they find a resting place. Until the force behind them settles. Once settled, we can then determine which side holds more weight. Then, if we wish to make them equal, we make adjustments as needed. From my perception, this is exactly how things work on an energetic level.

There is always more good or evil to be added to any scenario. The particular amount of each in every situation or every individual battle, varies. These measurements are not always in equal proportions. In some battles good prevails and others evil wins out. The war continues on either way. This war is the struggle for balance and if there is balance, neither side can be truly victorious. This is the issue I hold when it comes to believing good always wins. This opposes the idea of balance. Good does not always win. Good is not all-powerful. There is an immeasurable amount of both forces available to our world and how we decide to apply our energy often dictates how our scales are adjusted.

Many people do not like this way of thinking. This notion can be scary to some. The idea that the evils we encounter or “imagine” could overpower the positive, is frightening to many. The truth is this does happen. We see this in our world every single day. We also can find examples of tremendous good for the sake of good. On an individual level, sometimes it seems one side is in control. One side is more powerful. However, if we look at the bigger picture and see all of the individual battles, we find there is far more balance than we previously thought.

We hold power here; we are not helpless. Once the momentum of a particular battle slows, we can pause to see which side holds more energy on our individual scale. If there is a heavy load of “evil” influencing a situation, sometimes we must apply more force to the opposing scale. Change how we participate. If we add more of the same energy to a situation, we will get more of the same results. If we change and add energy to the opposing scale, we might just find that balance that the world is ever questing to find.

Neither good or evil is stronger or better. They are equal and both are needed. We get to choose what we align with and how much of each we contribute to our own scales. As we engage with spirit, it can be helpful to remember that there is a scale, and all spirit finds itself contributing to one side or another at any given time. This doesn’t mean anything is all evil or all good. It just means everything is capable of both.


Thoughts From The Void

What happens when we die? I know this sounds a bit morbid and not what anyone prefers to think about, but that is exactly why I wanted to discuss some thoughts about this topic. Many cultures are taught to fear death. It is implied that death is the end and that is it. It’s the great unknown. Not every culture has this relationship with death, some have a more uplifting approach to this very mysterious and unavoidable life occurrence. 

No one can know for sure what happens. Even those who have really cultivated their mediumship skills do not find agreement on the finer details surrounding this topic. All we can do is put our experiences out there and have faith in what resonates most with us. Even if what resonates with us is not what anyone else claims to be true. No one knows for sure, and I can’t stress that enough. Differences in opinions here do not contest personal beliefs – they can add to them though, if we can keep an open mind.

What about Heaven?

An example of this misalignment of beliefs, is the concept of Heaven. From where I sit, I see many flaws in this belief. It just does not resonate with me as it is depicted. Is there an ultimate place we can go and be in harmony and peace? I think there likely is something close to that, however, I do not think we could ever reside in such a place if there is turmoil within our soul. If you are at peace, everywhere you are would be like a Heaven. If you are not at peace, then even Heaven would be unpleasant for you. 

The other issue I have with the idea of this place we go, is the separation it implies. Some believe all things are energy with different frequencies; and all “dimensions” are not some far-off places to travel to, but rather all here layered upon one another. This idea of dimensions is something science, real science, studies every day. I am not a scientist though; I am a medium so I will stick to talking about what I know better. When we make it seem like Heaven is somewhere up in the clouds far away, it puts those we love and care for who have passed, very far away in some inconceivable place. This amplifies a feeling of loss in a way that feels unnecessary to me. Mostly because it isn’t the only thing people believe happens when we are no longer in our physical bodies. More importantly, my experiences don’t align at all with this idea of separation. 

There is always another way of thinking.

What if we embraced a different way of thinking? Some teach a contrasting concept and have a healthy relationship with death. There is no real fear, much less loss, and more appreciation when the end of physical life occurs. This is something I prefer to embrace because it just makes more sense to me. If it strikes you in a bad way, please disregard it because my beliefs are not here to contest yours. I only wish to add a level of comfort that perhaps might be otherwise lacking for some. The day will come when grief hits us hard. On that day, this alternative way of thinking might just help to relieve some of the pain we feel.

There is no greater comfort than trusting you already communicate with spirit.

The number one reason people contact a medium is to get in touch with a loved one who is no longer living a physical life. Pretty much every time there is desperation on the part of the seeker. They are hurting and in need of feeling like the person they care for is not gone forever. They want an interaction that is similar to how they knew their loved one when they were alive. Right here is the reason I write this post. This breaks my heart to see over and over. It is a pain we inflict on each other due to incomplete beliefs (my opinion). All too often, when people ask me to try to contact their loved one, the person in question is right with them the entire time. We are taught to ignore the subtle changes in our environment and our clair-senses, so we don’t always recognize spirit when they interact with us. When this time finally comes, when we seek a loved one in spirit, we now are expecting a physical interaction or even a Hollywood version of how it goes when you encounter spirit. This is just not my experience at all. Spirit is in the little things we ignore all day every day. Those clair-senses I wrote about are what pick up on the messages from spirit. They are gentle, subtle, and easy to ignore most times. If you want to find spirit, begin by cultivating those senses. 

Interaction with spirit is personal – not one size fits all.

Now, this is a tough area because it is different for everyone. Spirit is personal. I have spoken with many mediums and how each interacts with spirit differs. I feel this isn’t something you can try to do like anyone else does. If your experience mirrors the experience of another, I would question the root of the experience. There is a lot going on in the spirit world, more than we can really comprehend. I can say that just like people are good and not so good, what we find in spirit is just the same. Then there is human error to consider. Discernment is key here. With that said, I believe all people can communicate with spirit on some level. It is part of us, like our normal senses. Have you ever seen one of those wine tasters? They can swirl their wine and then tell you all of the things that are in it. Not everyone has cultivated their senses in such a way that allows for this level of identification. This is the same concept as a medium having an easier time understanding what spirit has to say. Some practice this skill and train themselves to better recognize and understand spirit. Some are “blessed” with the ability to see, hear, understand, and interact with the spirit world just the same as they can the physical. These people (I believe) require this and are not special. I do not believe they are put here to do some great good, I believe they require that connection to spirit for their own soul’s growth. I say that not as an insult, it is just my own assessment based on my own experiences. I know I require the connection to spirit in this way. I am a bit stubborn and refuse to learn my lessons without that close connection to spirit. If my belief doesn’t resonate with you, again, it is okay to just let it roll off you. 

We all have equal access to spirit, and no one is more special than anyone else in this area.

This is a really important part of the pre-set beliefs I would like to dissolve. Jumping back to the person who seeks a medium to contact a loved one; what if they believed they were capable of communication? What if it wasn’t trained out of them from a young age? What if they didn’t believe they required the medium to communicate but rather to help interpret. This is always what I try for when people come to me. I want to know what they are picking up. The messages they do not understand need clarity. I want to validate what they already know because I know they are capable, and spirit is telling me the person only lacks belief. I don’t want “repeat customers”. I want others to find comfort all the time, not just when someone tells them what they want to hear. That comfort only comes when we discover we can communicate with spirit ourselves. The messages we need from spirit are the little things. Like the feeling of comfort we feel when we go home. It’s a feeling, not an action or physical thing. The warmth and lightness we experience when near a loved one. This is how they communicate most of the time -through frequency shifts. That gentle nudge that says, “I’m with you and you’ve got this.”, that is spirit. I want to help the hurting people find their own way of communication with their loved ones so that they don’t require an outside source. 

It is no different than communication with the living in that
our clearest understanding comes when we communicate directly with each other.

What if every time you were wanting to talk to a living relative, you had to call someone else, leave your messages with them and wait for a reply. This other person would call your relative for you and then relay what they had to say back. Would this be a reasonable action for the living? To me, it is not a reasonable action when we are dealing with the dead. We can all communicate with our loved ones, and I can tell you one thing I believe for sure; they would prefer to talk directly to those they care for. This doesn’t make the medium obsolete, it just changes the role a bit and puts the power back in the hands of the person in pain. I will pause to say again, my beliefs do not have to be yours. There are many great mediums out there who provide comfort in times of distress. I just prefer a different path to healing for this particular application. 

We communicate with more than just words.

If we embrace a different understanding of energy and the depth of communication we as people experience every day, when the time comes and we need communication from spirit, we will recognize it far more easily. When we communicate with living people there is energy being exchanged. Pay attention to that energy, learn to recognize the shifts. When we begin to strengthen the connection we have to our clair-senses, we notice the little things that come along with our physical interactions. There are so many little things! When we notice this “in-between” stuff, we can then learn to catalog it in a way that helps us to understand the energy being exchanged, even when no one is physically around you.

We are all connected.

Some believe when we even think about others, we create an energetic cord that connects us to one another. I believe this happens if we are living or not. This is why I feel we can all communicate with spirit all the time. When we think of those loved ones that have passed, we likely are harnessing a lot of emotional energy as well and it would be hard to ignore. We are creating a powerful connection to someone’s energy. Spirit has not shut down this form of communication like we have here, so they would likely recognize it right away when it happens. If we see it like this, all we need to do to find our loved ones, is think about them. More often than not, they will lend us the energy that best suits as at that moment – even if they don’t get credit for the support.

Spirit is always around us.

The response from spirit will always be there, we just might be expecting something more physical. If we shift that expectation, all of the support we need is always right where we are. When it comes to communication with spirit, I have found that when you don’t expect anything at all but instead expect nothing and simply recognize those little in-between things that might occur; this is where we find the most profound interactions with spirit. These will always be things we can’t explain or articulate in a way that makes sense to anyone who didn’t experience it. This is why spirit is not agreed upon, there are simply no words that do it justice. Find your own understanding of energy and cultivate your own clair-senses and you will stumble upon your own way of communicating with spirit.