Thoughts From The Void


Now, before I say a single word about the topic of this article, I want to make it inescapably clear that NO ONE knows the “truth” about spirit and as such, no one can claim to own absolute truth about any information surrounding the topic of spirit guides. Including me. This is imperative to remember. Many people will contest this, but I stand firm here and will be unmovable. You are welcome to argue and debate with me because I embrace all ideas, but to say anyone can know for sure can be an extremely dangerous and harmful practice. What is true for one individual may be false for another when it comes to spirit. This is the only truth I know and have been shown. If you feel you have a spirit guide, if you believe everyone is “assigned” one, that is great, and I am not contesting anything that brings you peace. You believe what you want to believe. Anything that is your personal truth, when it comes to spirit, rarely can be contested by another living person. With all that said, I am not sure I can articulate my beliefs on this controversial topic, but it is an important area of concern for many so I will try. My struggles here hold insight and hope that I would like to share.

Those who know me well will likely think I have no business talking about this area of spirit. I actively refuse the idea of spirit guides. It isn’t a lack of belief that causes me to feel this way. Stay with me a moment. I am not going to refute the concept of guides all together. It’s our perception and desire that bring about the issues I have encountered. I usually hear people speaking of their guides and telling others how they might find theirs. I am not one of those people. I am someone who never will put a name to those who guide me in spirit. I think my thoughts can help others gain an alternative perspective on this sometimes faith diminishing aspect of working with spirit. This is my hope. This is why I write this. Sometimes when we seek a guide or ally in spirit, it is because we lack one in the physical world. When we can’t find what we are looking for it does tend to fill us with despair. I want to make sure no one who looks for spirit finds despair. This should be the one place we always find hope.

I do not refuse the idea of spirit guides because I lack communication with one. It is actually quite the opposite. I have no shortage of “spirits” claiming to be a guide. Someone who “has my back” and will “show me the way”. Spirit who has the answers and guidance I require for both myself and others. This is what people seek. This is what people want. So why do I take issue with this practice? Well, because spirit also says that “No one gets to cheat.” If the answers you seek are easily accessible, this causes me to raise an eyebrow and ask “Why?” Am I that thick-headed that I require someone to tell me exactly what is? Am I so slow and incapable of being a human that someone in spirit needs to provide me with a clear outline as to how to conduct myself? Do I need information about future events because I simply own zero skills that will allow me to care for myself or avoid danger? Or is it that I am so special that I was chosen to be the voice of spirit for others? I think not. Yet if I believed all of the “guides” I have come across, all of these statements would be true. So, this leads me to question the authentic nature of what we believe to be “spirit guides”.

Do I believe spirit is there? Do I believe spirit will help? Of course I do, and I believe it without question. I suppose my issue lies in the weight people place on the word of a “spirit guide”. People hold the advice from spirit above their own sometimes and this is a gray area that can either be helpful or harmful depending on the scenario. I have been told many times that “No one knows everything.” I believe this goes for spirit as well. Everything is always changing with the application of free will, so no one can know all things. Some can have more clarity and insight than others, but no one knows everything. If you own a connection to a guide and it has been beneficial for you, I think that is inspiring; but I also strongly believe that what one person needs is not what everyone needs. We tend to forget this, and it is really important to apply this logic when it comes to all things spirit. This piece I am writing is not necessarily for those who know their guides, although I feel you should always question them – if your belly calls you to. This is for those feeling a bit lost or overwhelmed because they “can’t” find their guide or ally.

What does spirit look like?

My beliefs on this topic originated because of how I heard others speak of their guides. There is often a physical description and a belief that their guide is some kind of someone. An angel, a Native American, an ascended master, a this that or another “enlightened being”. There are many flaws in this that I can’t quite resolve. Perhaps it is my personal flaw that I must find the source, the truth behind things, that prevents me from just accepting this is how things are. Perhaps it’s just that I strongly dislike it when people are led astray. I don’t like when people give away their own power. Who knows for sure? I can say that when I see spirit, I see energy. When I see energy, it changes form. It doesn’t just look like a wise old man, or a glowing angelic presence, it looks like energy. What I see always changes depending on who else is around and what the situation is.

If past lives are a thing, how could spirit look any one way?

Why is it that if people believe we potentially have had several “past lives”, but they also believe we are each guided by a spirit; how can we also believe that their spirit guide looks any one way? We are both masculine and feminine energy. This would mean our spirit is not a girl or a boy. If my spirit has been many people before, how could I look just like me now if I was in spirit? This logic applies especially when a spirit is at peace. This is an issue that I resolve to the concept that spirit appears as we will best receive them. This is likely why I see spirit as energy because I wouldn’t buy it if they looked like just one “thing”. There have been a few exceptions to this notion, but overall, I believe spirit appears to us as we will best receive them. This also means that spirit can look like anything. If spirit can look like anything, how is it you can be sure that the spirit of Aunt Betty is really Aunt Betty? Discernment is key, but the level of mastery spirit owns in this area is beyond comprehension. I believe it is possible to know the difference, but I also believe it is far more difficult than most people realize.

This idea that spirit can look, sound, feel, and be anything; this can strike fear in some. Especially those who apply common sense to their practice. I think fear is healthy. A child with no fear, with no regard for their wellbeing, often finds themselves getting injured far more often than the child who is more cautious. Fear is a tool we have. It is an alert system that tells us we should be careful. Unbalanced fear is an issue, but healthy fear is a very useful tool. Many hold no fear of spirit, and this simply blows my mind! Perhaps they have been blessed to never have experienced the less than pleasant side of spirit; and if this is the case, I do hope they continue to not experience it. I, unfortunately, have an intimate understanding of the not so delightful interactions with spirit. My errors are why I have formed my opinions. It is not a lack of experience that brings me to this article. It is an overabundance of it. While my experiences may not match up with everyone’s, they are still valid.

Is it just me and the darkness?

So where does that leave me? Do I just not believe in spirit because it is too scary? Do I navigate the energetic world alone? Do I have no allies? Is it only me and the darkness? My trusting nature early on taught me many lessons the very hard way. For a long time, I did operate this way. “It’s just me, no help is coming”. This is something I have sat and cried more times than I care to reveal. The truth is the world of spirit can be a frightening place; especially if you feel you have no allies. I have found myself in those moments, panic-stricken and afraid, many times after I trusted one of those “helpful spirits”. One who had my answers. One who offered me everything. One who held malice under their mask of perfection. These spirits all taught me something of immeasurable value. Lessons I couldn’t acquire any other way. Are they my guides? No, I think not. But I do think everyone can teach you something if you are willing to learn. These moments of despair have taught me the most valuable lesson. While I am never alone, the greatest ally I will ever have is always going to be myself. The most powerful force I can harness is my own energy. I am never alone, but it is my word, my guidance, my spirit I need most. While I won’t put a name to my allies in spirit, I know I am never alone. Maintaining that belief in those moments of turmoil is typically where I fail myself.

Is there a guardian spirit who walks beside me?

Many believe we are assigned a spirit guide at birth. Someone who is with us always. I hold many issues here most of which I can’t resolve. I know there is necessary evil in this world. I understand this and I accept it. Some evils are so hard to describe, to understand, evils not of the physical world. If there has always been someone in spirit assigned to help me, why did they do nothing when I was young? Why did they do nothing when I met these nightmarish evils? This is always something that I struggle with because I feel children are innocent. I suppose this is flawed thinking. If we have many lives, then we could never be truly innocent. All experiences shape us, all experiences are needed. This is what I am told when I ask about this issue I have. If I had an ally all this time, where were they when I needed them? Why did they do nothing when the things of nightmares were all I could see, all I knew? Things not of the physical world that no one could understand. That no one could believe. Things that negatively influenced my physical world. Where was the opposition then? Where were the “good guys”? Why did they leave me alone? Why was it always just me and the “bad guys”? This is something I tantrum over often. It just seems unfair, but I suppose that’s life, right? Spirit or physical, some things are just unfair. We have something to learn and that is why things are how they are. That is a shitty answer. Still, it’s the only answer I ever get.

The number of experiences I have had that were less than pleasant are too vast to count. My faith has varied over the years. Who and what I believed in has changed and continues to evolve as I do. One thing I have never been able to contest is the existence of those “things of nightmares”. I have always known they are real. I also have always believed in their “opposition” as we might like to think of them. All my life I have believed in the idea of a “guardian angel”, and while I don’t think I can comfortably use that term in the literal sense, I do think that spirit looks out for all of us. I don’t think they intend to prevent our sufferings; I just think they walk alongside us as we endure what we need to. I believe they are there every step of the way. I believe both good and evil walk beside us.

We don’t get what we want, but we have exactly what we need.

I believe some people need a strong connection with a guide they can describe. With a spirit they can relate to. I believe some people require a connection to self-more. I believe for some, the idea of a spirit guide is hugely beneficial, and for others it can destroy them from the inside. I believe that no one can tell you which of the two you are. What you need is personal and only spirit and self can determine that. I know most people want someone to tell them who their guide is. I have fallen victim to this thinking as well. The major issue with this is, if spirit is always present, which I believe they are, and spirit hasn’t told you directly, then maybe spirit doesn’t feel it is best. This of course is my opinion, but I know spirit can always find way. If spirit wants us to know something, everything in my experience has told me they will make it clear – one way or another. When we take the information about our own spiritual connections from another human, we give away our power. We sidestep the “getting to know you” phase where trust is established. When we do this, we open ourselves up to misinterpretation and trouble. Those who work closely with spirit know that trust is everything. When dealing with something we can’t explain or understand, something we can’t prove or justify; trust is all we have. Trust is earned, not granted. If we give trust because we think we should and not because we have an unshakable knowing, a belief that can’t be altered, this is a recipe for disaster.

I am a bit difficult about this topic and my experiences have led me to be that way. It is not skepticism but rather self-preservation that calls me to question spirit. I am not desperate for spirit interaction or guidance. I will not be. I refuse. This was not always the case. It’s been a long hard road to get here, but I have learned we are all equal. Those in spirit and those in the physical – we are all equal. If someone has something of value for my journey, if someone is there to help me in some way that has no motive other than to help me, they will earn my trust, or I will not trust them. If there is a way I can assist spirit, it will be very clear to me, and I will still have the choice. It is that simple. Those in spirit who have my back don’t offer a name. They tell me not to seek them. I am told every single time that if guidance is what I seek, I must find myself. This is frustrating advice to receive from spirit. I don’t want to find me I want to find who helps me, right? The thing is, when I look for “guides” I find them. The use of mediations or prayers, petitions or rituals, these aren’t effective for me. If I try to find spirit, I find spirit. Not all spirit has good intentions. So, for people like me, the current advice offered is not helpful. It is harmful. If you are someone who runs into this issue, perhaps stop looking for an ally and start looking for yourself.

Do I “work” with spirit guides? There is no easy answer to that. I involve spirit with all things I do. I don’t try to know who I speak to. I don’t try to determine if they are good or bad. I use my discernment and find if the information is valid. Is it helpful, is it necessary, is it cheating? If the information gained is something that is too insightful, I do my best to ignore it. If it is something that doesn’t provide immediate understanding, I try to ignore it. If it is something that will send me on a wild goose chase, I tend to ignore it. Spirit that doesn’t offer me anything is typically the spirit I embrace. Spirit that tells me nothing but waits for me to find the answer, this is the spirit I try to not ignore, but usually do. Spirit that doesn’t call me to question the nature of the interaction, these are the spirits that might fall into the category of “guide”. Are they assigned? It doesn’t feel right to me, but I don’t know and honestly, I don’t care. I have seen the guides of others and I know without question they have been nothing but helpful for me personally. I have also seen the guides of others and known I should not engage. Our discernment is everything when it comes to working with spirit. If you can’t trust yours, you won’t get very far.

What is good for one person is not good for all people.

If I want to know if a spirit is there to guide me, I typically will say that they are not. If someone in spirit is beneficial for me, I will feel it and won’t need to question at all. Although, I will still question it. I refer back to the guidance I always get when I wonder if spirit has my back and that is “Find yourself and you will find me.” I feel guidance comes from within, not from outside of ourselves. I think spirit is so much more than we can understand. How we interact is so personal.

Are spirit guides real? Does everyone have one? I really can’t say for sure. What I can say is that if you haven’t found yours just yet, perhaps a shift in perspective is all you need. Spirit is always present. That much I believe with no doubt. I believe there is balance. I believe there is good and bad. I believe we have access to both. I believe when we need guidance, when we need spirit, we will always have exactly what we need. The place to look is just not outside of ourselves. We must look within and have faith that even if we don’t understand, spirit is there. We have to know that even if we lack faith in ourselves at times, spirit never does. Spirit always has faith in us. While we can’t understand spirit, spirit does understand us. In my experience, those in spirit who lend us assistance or guidance don’t ever require anything in return. They don’t seek recognition. They don’t offer us anything. They just lend us what we need silently. There is no confusion it just is. Not having a name or description for your guide does not make you some kind of “novice”. We are all people just trying to learn the lessons and experience life. Everyone is a novice. We have always been in communication with spirit, even if we don’t recognize it. If you don’t have a name for your guide, maybe it isn’t because you are less “spiritual” or lack a connection to spirit, maybe you are just like me; perhaps it is better for you in the long run to not know. Sometimes we need to just have faith – not know.

When in doubt, trust yourself.

Stories, plots, names, descriptions; all of this can be unnecessary and even distracting. What is for us will always be for us, we don’t need to seek it or define it. We are a part of spirit and spirit is a part of us. While not all spirit is good, it’s not all bad either. There is balance. We are not special because we interact with spirit. We all do it every day, we just don’t all realize it. None of us are special but we all have something invaluable to lend the world. Should your guidance from spirit contest that, you may want to dig a bit deeper and find yourself. In times of confusion or spiritual turmoil, we are the ones who bring us clarity. It will never come from the outside; I feel our truest guidance must come from deep within ourselves. Our spirit holds the insight we need, but our spirit is never alone.

There are varying levels of deceit I have encountered, some of this was perpetuated by my own fear of being fooled again. From the obvious fake promises of blessings, the compliments and delusion of grandeur, the scare tactics and fear-based approach, or the less noticeable helpful daily guidance and advice, the precognitive information for myself and others, the impersonation of those I trust or know, to the most low-key charade pretending to be exactly what a guide might be; I have run the gauntlet of them all. All of which I have fallen victim to. Still, the ones who offer me nothing are usually the ones that remain. The ones who insist I find myself, the ones who are just there, these are the ones that don’t cause trouble or distress. Sometimes if we wish to gain a connection to those who have our back in spirit, we have to stop looking and just believe we are worthy of having them. We have to know they are there even if we don’t understand them. We have to have faith and faith is not knowing.

Spirit is always present, this much I do know. I know we are all equal. So, for me, my faith will build upon that. If you struggle to find inspiration and peace within this area of spirit, maybe you can take a similar approach. Remember that while we might not always understand or recognize spirit, spirit is there lending us what we need anyway. We are never alone.

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