Managing the challenges of empathy with the help of crystals
The topic of clairempathy and those who call themselves “empaths” is a popular area of concern. It is one of the most common clair-senses and it is also the one that is widely accepted, even among people who don’t really get down with other spiritual stuff.
To start, it is important to say that no two journeys or experiences will be identical but that doesn’t mean there are no major similarities at the root of those experiences. So, we are going to talk today about managing and controlling the sometimes-overwhelming clairempathy.
To get a handle on this one and actually use it for something positive, we need to first identify what energy belongs to us. If it doesn’t belong to us, then it is imperative to not allow ourselves to be consumed by it. Often, we try to determine who belongs to what and why we are feeling it. This is may not be the greatest place to begin. We must know our own energy; we must know who we are. If you know who you are, if you know what your energy feels like, then you know when something is not yours. This is the first step. It doesn’t matter why we are feeling it if we can’t discern what is ours and what is not.
How do we control something uncontrollable? How do we find clarity in such chaos?
Crystals can help a great deal and you are welcome to select ones that differ from this list. I will tackle what I think are the key points of controlling clairempathy and I urge you to take that information and make it your own.
~A Crystal To Help Get Grounded
Again, if you have heard me talk about this before I don’t mean a whimsical walk in the woods. I mean stick your energy to the Earth like a high-powered magnet. No stone does this better than hematite (my opinion of course). This is a tricky crystal because there is a bit of a misunderstanding about hematite. It is not overly magnetic. Hematite and magnetite are not the same thing but often are sold under the name hematite. There is also a synthetic version of hematite that many sellers are happy to pass off as the natural version. If you are unsure of what you have, a streak test is a great way to identify your hematite. Many will say it doesn’t matter, that if it calls to you, it is the right thing. This is kind of true sometimes and other times it is just wishful thinking. If you have a stress headache, would you take cough medicine? Most likely not. You would probably select medicine that targets your needs. The same logic applies here. For our particular application, we are not looking for the mineral that acts like a magnet. We are not looking to attract things to us, we are looking to anchor ourselves with the Earth. That is a job for hematite.
There are many grounding crystals, some nurture like jaspers, some transmute like tourmaline and some just have such a strong energetic pull to the Earth’s energy that they facilitate an undeniable grounding of your excess or unwanted energy. Hematite has arguably the strongest energetic pull in this area and that is why I select it for this job. I do not use this stone every grounding ritual I do. I actually use bloodstone (heliotrope) most of the time for my standard ritual (heliotrope is a jasper that contains bits of hematite). When I struggle and need back up, I call on hematite because it always gets the job done.
Another thing I use when I am struggling is a tuning fork with the “low ohm” vibration, it is about 68.05hz so if you can’t afford a tuning fork or you want to test it out first, hit up YouTube for that frequency and see if that assists your grounding practices.
When do we ground?
When do we use this? At first, more often than you think you need to. You will need to recognize when you are ungrounded to know you are unbalanced, right? So, taking the extra time to be mindful and ground several times a day when it is not needed will help you start learning exactly what you feel like. You will hold the hematite in your left hand, or whichever it is you receive energy from, and breath. Do whatever ritual it is you like to do and notice how you feel. The state of quiet and calm is what we are looking for, in that quiet is where you will find your energy.
Look at your hands and try to see how your energy feels. Feel that vibration fill your “bubble” and know that is your energy. Repeat this as often as needed until you are sure you know your energy. This takes obnoxiously long but healing is not a race, and neither is personal growth. When you know your energy, be mindful of it, and when you feel anything other than that nice calm you, pay attention to it and don’t let it get too overwhelming.
Stop and breathe in a mindful way every time you notice your energy doesn’t feel the way it does right after grounding. Then take the necessary steps to recenter and ground your energy. This is step one to managing your clair-empathy.
You can find my thoughts on grounding here.
~A Crystal To Enhance Shielding
You need to be able to shield better. Period. Even if you have the prettiest bubble in town, there is always a way to improve upon your shielding. Think of it like a muscle, if you don’t stretch and use your muscles they will atrophy. They will not be at their optimum performance level. So, if you are not always looking for new ways to strengthen your shield, if you don’t maintain your practice, then your shielding will also not be working the best it can.
Now, this is an area that will vary per person. Some don’t require the level of shielding others do. If your clairempathy is not under control or if you find yourself complaining about being an empath, then I am sorry to be the one to tell you but your clairemapthy is not under control and you need better shielding. That is not an insult so please don’t take it as one. I really want to change the perception of the term “empath”.
The current “universal viewpoint” embodies a victim mentality.
I only want to provide an alternative, more empowering viewpoint. The world is welcome to believe anything it wants. That includes you reading this, however, the most important thing I have learned is that no one is special. We are not sent here on a special mission. We come here to learn our OWN lessons and how to manage ourselves. Sure, we can do lots of good while we are here and make the world a better place, but to say that a “true empath” is here for etc., etc. is assigning some level of superiority, making a certain group of people special in some way. This is just not the case. We are all equal. It is a slippery slope to believe you are different from others, to believe you are here for a special mission. That is a very important thing to realize when you are calling yourself an “empath”. That doesn’t mean there is not great good to be done with the clair-sense of empathy. Again, that is what we are talking about here. This is a sense that resonates with the heart chakra.
Shield in whatever way suits you but add satin spar to the mix. This one I recommend keeping within your aura at all times while learning to manage clairempathy. Satin spar is fibrous gypsum, and it is often sold as selenite. There really is no substitute for this one aside from selenite, however, selenite is expensive and breaks easily so satin spar is superior for this application. How do they work? Well, they both work to overfill an area with high vibrational energy. Satin spar does one better and repairs the auric field of any issues. These and all crystals do require cleansing on occasion and satin spar harnesses lunar energy so leaving it on the windowsill overnight with the intention of cleansing and charging will do the trick (also worth noting it doesn’t really matter what phase the moon is in for this).
After we know our energy and have strengthened our shield, next we have to strengthen our own emotional center. One thing that is always repeated to me is that “Other people shouldn’t sway you”. This idea goes for the living and the not-so-living. If you can stand firm in your energy there should be very few scenarios that shake you.
“Do not become the emotion”
This is what we are looking for in the end. We want to understand the things we feel, we can empathize, but we don’t want to take on and be consumed by the things we feel. Let the emotions pass through, don’t trap them.
You can find my full thoughts on shielding here.
~A Crystal For Emotional Endurance
Strengthening your emotional endurance is a big part of our goal. We are going to select a stone that resonates with the heart chakra, not rose quartz! Anything other than rose quartz if you do not want to pick the one I have selected. I explain all my thoughts about rose quartz in my book ‘Crystals Book One Finding Your Way’ but for now, just trust me when I say that is not the stone for this application. The answer as to why is long and again I go into great depth in my book about it but I feel this crystal can act as an energy amplifier. That is not something helpful for our current goal.
We are looking for healing energy that resonates with truth, strength, honor, and unconditional love and there is no stone that resonates with all of those more strongly than the emerald. Now, I don’t mean a gem-quality emerald, just any emerald will be amazing. The thing I always hear when I hold this stone is “Strength through love” and this stone brings that. You can overcome pretty much all obstacles with the assistance of the vibration that love resonates with. It is a frequency of endurance, passion, and strength – all things we need. Right now, what we are looking to do is strengthen your resolve, we want to be able to greet any emotion, any scenario with strength and compassion.
We also want to be able to solve problems when we start to interpret what we feel right? We need to be able to get past the things we feel so we can think and use logic. We can’t do that if we get caught up in the variety of emotions we feel. So, we are going to think about it like a mother’s love. If a mother has two children and they are fighting and they come to her for help, what does she do? Does she pick the emotions that she likes best? Does she agree with the strongest of the emotions? No, she loves both of her children unconditionally, so she needs to see the situation for what it is. She wants what is best for everyone. She must put anything that triggers her aside to get to the facts. Knowing how her children feel about the situation helps her to determine why they are reacting the way they do and if she can manage to keep a clear head, she might find her way to a solution that allows for resolution and forgiveness on both sides of the argument.
That to me is what clairempathy is for. Not for picking a side, not for feeling what others are feeling and getting upset about it but being able to know both sides of the equation and help get to resolution and healing when mediation is required. This is why we call on the emerald. It can help us to greet all situations through the lens of unconditional love and strength. It has a vibration that feels regal. Like any good ruler knows they are not above the people but part of the people, what is best for one may not be best for all and the ruler has the job of finding what is most beneficial for all. That is the vibration we are looking for. The vibration that connects us, allows us to see things from the collective point of view.
This is the gift of empathy, if you were looking for a purpose, if you still can’t let go of the idea that you have a mission, the idea stems from this ability to mediate. It isn’t being above or different but getting in tune with the ability to help find resolution, the ability we all have to facilitate cooperation and healing. Being connected to everyone allows for a strengthening of the bond between us all which is exactly what clairempathy is for. To me, that is special enough in its own right and something we ALL own if we choose to. Choosing to cultivate this sense is something special all on its own. The emerald is a crystal I think is better kept within the aura at all times in regard to clairemapthy.
~A Crystal To Facilitate Discernment
Let’s pretend for a second you are famous and you want to walk through a crowd of people to get to a stage. Think of amethyst like your bodyguard. You are walking through a sea of people all shouting your name and amethyst leads your way, stiff-arming people, as it says “Step aside” while guiding you to your destination. Amethyst can help clear away the chaos so that you can find the answers you are looking for. This one is great all the time for emotional stability as well but I usually use this one as a mediation stone twice a day or when needed. When I say meditation I mean taking a few moments to sit and breathe mindfully. You do you though, just know if you need to understand something go hit up your amethyst and you might find your way to the answer as well as some balance.
So, now that we know to stay grounded and actually practice the concept, mind our shielding, and have strengthened our emotional center, we must learn to discern what we are feeling. Amethyst is the stone for clarity of mind. This is the stone we are looking for and there really is no stone that does this better, but fluorite is a close second for me. Clearing away the chaos is what this stone does best. We need this so that we can have clarity. This is not a stone new to most people so I will keep this part short. I do go into this one in detail in my book though so be sure to check it out. Long story short here, if you can’t understand what you are feeling, you can’t really do much with the information.
~A Crystal For Balanced Communication
The next thing we must do is communicate what we feel. There are a ton of stones that help with this, but we are dealing with a lot of energy right now and we can easily become unbalanced. We need some strong vibrations and for this application, the best-suited crystal is blue kyanite. Think of blue kyanite like a lightning bolt of high vibrational energy that instantly aligns your energy centers. It also strengthens the connection between you and spirit, which is imperative if you want to understand the messages you are getting.
Blue kyanite also works to connect all chakras so that the information you communicate is balanced. Sometimes we find ourselves speaking from a place of fear, or power, or a variety of other places depending on what chakra is leading the charge; but if all chakras are working in unison, our communication will be the truest to ourselves and likely have the best odds of being received well by whoever we are speaking to. So, for understanding and communication, we next use blue kyanite. To use this, you can do a few things. I like to have a crystal grid set up with the intention of helping me communicate in a balanced clear fashion. You can also wear this piece as a necklace but having too many stones on you when you haven’t quite learned to control clair-empathy might not always be pleasant. You can always use it as a stone to meditate with or put it in your pocket in times of need. I prefer the grid approach in combo with meditation when needed but, you do you.
~A Crystal To Aid Protection
Last is keeping our energy free of things we don’t want there. Black tourmaline is always my favorite, except in this application. That being said, it is my opinion that people who have not yet learned to manage clair-empathy should not typically carry black tourmaline on their person at all times. Instead, shungite is my choice. Shungite is an amazing stone that works to remove all dis-ease within its vicinity. Shungite is a natural filter, people actually use it to filter water; it works very similarly on an energetic level. It will filter your energy field of lower vibrations and is the leader in emf protection. So having this one in your aura at all times is very beneficial. I do recommend utilizing your cleansing method of choice once a week just to keep it fresh.
Just because I don’t think we should wear black tourmaline when our clairempathy is not well managed, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use it. People who utilize clairempathy need to cleanse tourmaline more often than people who don’t which is why wearing it is not optimal. This is because tourmaline works to attract and transmute energy. The time it takes to do this is not instant and if you over-flood your tourmaline with negative energy it will get all funky and need to be cleansed. It can only transmute so quickly so if it has an overabundance of energy coming in, there is bound to be a backup of residual energy and energy waiting to be transmuted.
Clair-empathy does something similar where it draws energy to you, and you need to ground it. When both you and the tourmaline are doing the same thing and no one gets a break, the build-up of energy happens and then no one is functioning well. So instead of wearing it, once a day sit with your tourmaline, I prefer before bed, but you do you. Release all heavy energy within your field and then cleanse your tourmaline. This practice will absolutely help to restore balance to your energetic field.
Embrace what you are working with
Once we learn to control our clair-empathy we can then learn to use it. This is not something to just endure and our goal should not be to just manage this sense but to grow with it. You have to power to do it!